A Library, Not a Feed
Every fragment, preserved. Choose one.
I have just put the kids to sleep and the house is quiet. My day has just started as they usually do at night for me, as I don’t have to play a role. I step out onto the balcony with my Kirkland water and phone, checking the camera in the kids’ room occasionally, watching them sleep on the small screen. I open the notes app and start writing.
Read more →I am in so much pain. Two days ago, I got rejected for a job I had applied for. I have been job hunting for a while and this one looked like something I could easily get because it sounded like something I could really do and do well with little to no training.
Read more →It’s 3a.m. Everyone is sleeping. The room is dark. My toddler is in bed asleep, practicing her jiu jitsu. My husband is sleeping. I am sitting in the corner of the bedroom in a chair that swallows you whole.
Read more →I don't know how to do small talk even though I know the script by heart.
Read more →This morning, I came across a video where someone was talking about how marriage is difficult and how no one told them this while they were growing up. I found the topic very interesting, so I decided to watch it to the end. I agreed with everything they said until the 20th minute. The person mentioned in passing that when they were growing up, they watched their parent go through something very similar.
Read more →I was scrolling through Chrome last night when I saw that OhioHealth was going to close the maternity wing at Grady Memorial Hospital. The unit is scheduled to close on July 31.
Read more →I woke up this morning and tried to call my husband and the call didn't go through. My phone service's automated voice was on the other end in his stead,...
Read more →I was watching a YouTube video by Aperture and the narrator was talking about a philosopher called Spinoza. The title of the video was "You Are the Universe...
Read more →A department in my brain has gone on strike. I don't know which it is and what its grievances and terms are. I just know that I have been sitting down trying...
Read more →My daughter loves watching Blippi. She watches him without any distance or analysis and enjoys every minute of the show. She laughs when he laughs. She points...
Read more →I don't have money to buy a car right now and I don't need it anyway, but there is this man on the Great Lakes Hyundai ad who makes me feel like I do, which is...
Read more →I was filling out a job application on safari when the tab froze. I decided to switch to chrome and just before I could paste the link into the search bar, an...
Read more →I have a moral compass and an outline of how things and people should be. When I meet someone, I construct their personality in my head based on how they...
Read more →Ophelia — The Lumineers
Read more →I am looking for a house with a glass roof. The master bedroom ceiling should be open so when I lie down at night the last thing I see before I sleep is the...
Read more →The first time I went to the corner store next to my dorm, I bought a gallon of milk and a loaf of farmhouse bread. The total cost was $8 and some change....
Read more →I have been writing on this quiet corner of Substack almost everyday. I don't know, but here it feels like a place where I can pour my heart out with no...
Read more →America happened.
Read more →The world used to end a lot for me. Apocalypse level type of ending.
Read more →I am a woman on the sofa wondering where my life is headed. My body feels deeply suspended in something I cannot name. I have no sense of time and day. It's...
Read more →Another Love begins and the large gateway to my soul opens wide. A million emotions flow through me like a river with an endless supply of water. I cannot pin...
Read more →My husband is going to physical therapy so I ask if I can tag along as I am bored staying in. The neighborhood where the clinic is located is very densely...
Read more →I recently asked why I am writing. I am stuck between a world of understanding and clarity but my emotions don't fit. The writing has been a way to escape this...
Read more →I want to be rich.
Read more →My mum has always been more of a friend than a mum. She is deeply empathetic so it's not that she didn't try, the friend dynamic just came naturally to her....
Read more →I am in the back seat of our car with our children. We are driving to the next town over to pay a traffic ticket, just one of those mundane errands. It's...
Read more →I just went through a very quiet fear, in a small office across a desk. Our property manager had just said no to the community action agency that had come to...
Read more →I am four months old. I have very few concerns. Hunger, sleep, and wet diapers. She knows. I was there when she got the instruction manual. The nurse told her...
Read more →I am drowning in a sea of continuous thought. I can see the thoughts in real time. My hands and body are doing normal tasks meticulously like someone who is...
Read more →I have this mannerless laughter that doesn't read the room or wait for permission. It usually just arrives exactly at the absolute worst moment and I genuinely...
Read more →2:42 a.m. It's my birthday, a step closer to the third floor. I am lying on my bed, sandwiched between my three-year-old and my four-month-old, staring at the...
Read more →I am sitting in a Costco parking lot at the moment, and the world is orange.
Read more →I just watched a YouTube video on existential nihilism. The lady was explaining, that life has no inherent meaning. She described the universe as indifferent,...
Read more →It's now 1 am and everyone in the house is sleeping peacefully… the baby is making those peaceful sounds babies make when they are sleeping and feeling safe...
Read more →