The Beautiful Ones Have Now Been Born.

My mum has always been more of a friend than a mum. She is deeply empathetic so it's not that she didn't try, the friend dynamic just came naturally to her. Calling our relationship a friendship seriously undersells it though. She is more of a soulmate so when I remember and write these anecdotes of wisdom she shared, they don't come to me as a memory made in a serious moment. They usually come from a place of tenderness and sometimes laughter when the familiarity of the lesson lands.

I remember this one time my mum and I were supposed to head out somewhere and I was looking in the mirror getting ready. I think I had applied lipstick three times, each a different color. For some reason, the colors just didn't sit right. One lipstick didn't feel like me, the other one was too much and the third didn't reflect how I felt at that moment….. you know the usual self inflicted misery some women go through when choosing something to wear. She watched this for a while without saying anything and then, completely straight-faced, she said;

"The beautiful ones are not yet born."

We both burst out laughing and I ended up leaving the house with simple Vaseline on my lips which honestly, was the right answer.

At that time, I didn't know what she meant. I thought she just said it so I could hurry along and stop staring at my face, that I was fine and was just overthinking. That moment passed but for some reason, that statement stuck in my head. I never reflected on its literal meaning though.

How would the beautiful ones look like when they were born?

My 3 year old is going through the terrible twos stage and she is spectacularly annoying. Her tantrums and rebelliousness make me want to hide somewhere quiet. I can't. Such is the joy of motherhood. However, when I am sad, (I don't know how she knows) she quietly comes and sits next to me. After a period of silence she says in her small and serious voice; "it's ok. Everything is going to be ok. It's never that serious."

I don't know where she learned that. Maybe she learned it the same way I learned things from my mum, by being close and watching.

My 4 month old cries and doesn't allow me to put her down. I was born to hold her. When she smiles however, my heart melts. She sobs when I leave the room and when I finally pick her up she puts her small hands on my face and presses hers against mine, like she wants to close whatever distance she feels between us.

Nothing comes close to the beauty that lies in moments like these. When I look back at the mirror moment, it feels so shallow. I guess that's what my mum meant when she told me those words.

The beautiful ones were not yet born but now they are here.